TIP OF THE MONTH

3 Ways to Cultivate Abundance During Times of Loss

By Phyllis King

Abundance can be a tricky word at times. The mind wants to use the word as a measure of success. Abundance more accurately is a description of a flow of energy. Abundance describes whether we are in right relationship to the highest vibrations possible to us in a moment. There is no one size fits all. The mind often wants to assign abundance to a tangible outcome.

Spiritual people often think that they must put on a smile, or never utter a word that is not “positive.” If they do, they are not “abundant.” That is not the case. What is necessary is that we honor our present moment, whatever is in the moment, and give ourselves to it fully.

An example might be the ending of a relationship. You may be in the throes of breaking attachment and are heartbroken. How can you feel abundant during loss? The most abundant thing you can do is to honor and care for yourself. Many times, spiritually speaking, that is the purpose of the loss. Loss provides opportunity to learn how to love ourselves unconditionally.

Ways to Cultivate Abundance During Times of Loss

In a relationship breakup, it can be easy to pick ourselves apart for what we perceive to be our limitations. We feel badly about ourselves because someone did not love us the way we had hoped. The most abundant thing one can do in this scenario is to love themselves more.

In the example above it is not about feeling a specific way in a specific moment. It is about turning our attention toward compassion and self-care. This is the journey of staying in right relationship to abundance. Even when someone is crying their eyes out, if it is honest, and necessary in the moment to feel sad that is an abundant act. When we do not feel our sadness, it turns to anger or rage. The more abundant choice is to honor the sadness before it progresses to something harsher.

One of the least abundant acts we can do during loss is to pretend we are not hurting because we think we are getting life wrong. Yes, we are spiritual beings having a human experience. We must balance being human in the context of our soul’s evolution. That is the journey. It is okay to embrace it fully. Enjoy it, cry from it, or be mad at it. There is no right and wrong in managing energy. Only cause and effect and authenticity. What we intend in our heart is the foundation of our creative process no matter where we are in it.

Abundance begins with honoring the moments of our life. The moments that we have, not the moments we wish we had. Our ability to master presence in this manner will take us further on our quest for tangible abundance than anything else.

Loss is part of being human. When we consider the existential question of loss it points us to the soul’s journey every time. The ability to garner a view that is larger than the moment we are in is helpful in being human. It does not matter what view we hold, only that it supports us navigating the life experience with as much as peace as possible.

Below are three reminders about how we can cultivate abundance during times of loss:

1. Stay away from judgments about yourself or others. Don’t do it. Be an observer as much as you can. We learn a lot from watching how we respond to life and why. We can heal much more quickly when we are objective.

2. Do not hide your pain. Allow a trusted friend or confidant into your inner circle. Ask someone to walk with you for a time until you can walk on your own again. Support is not a sign of weakness. It is a strategy for success.

3. Practice radical self-care and unconditional love of self. I am not referring to massages and facials, although these are nice treatments. I mean answer your heart’s call. One day it may be facial. Another day it may be to start writing a book, or a song, or to take a trip or to stay in bed. In the act of self-care, we learn to love ourselves through moments that are messy. In that we embrace the totality of who we are.

One of my favorite quotes about life and living is from the NY Times Best selling author, Augusten Burroughs, who said “ "I like flaws and feel more comfortable around people who have them. I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together by good intentions." This statement is not only human but illustrates how we can best manage life as an abundant spiritual being. I could not agree more.

Love yourself through your loss. Embrace it. Honor it. Soon the energy will shift to something else, and relief will be yours.